‘BYA’ and You, Too, Will Thrive in 2012

By Marcia Buchart

Well, folks, it’s finally here: that (in)famous year of many prophecies—ranging from the catastrophic

Charon whipping the damned into Hell

 to the exalting. One of the most thoughtful little takes on the subject comes from a British contributor to the articles in my Astro Diary:

“Whatever the accuracy or relevance of the…predictions, I am nevertheless extremely impressed by the eagerness with which we have latched onto the whole idea.  I believe it [the eagerness] is symptomatic of an awareness, resonating deep within the collective, that we cannot continue in accustomed ways.

“Western astrological methodologies are sufficient in themselves to indicate that we are currently living through revolutionary times, akin to the threshold of a new season.” (emphasis mine) –Tchenka

The threshold of a new season.  The threshold of a new season!  A threshold that will last for three years, because the main aspect between planets which has built this threshold is a 90-degree square between

Pluto in Capricorn

Uranus in Aries and Pluto in Capricorn.

And they will open this door seven times now and 2015!  The door will be fully operational for the first time in June and again in September this year, at around 8 and 7 degrees of the respective signs. 

Hans Baker (also writing in my Astro Diary) terms this “the revolutionary imperative”.  Many of my friends’ conversations these days revolve around the hope that they won’t be completely destroyed in the upcoming upheavals.

And yet…

How many of you have walked out in late winter and suddenly sensed that the wind felt different, that it carried hints of warmth and moisture?  Or noticed the flush on formerly ashen twigs at the tips of tree branches?  Or noticed the first bits of vegetation poking through leaf mold on the forest floor? Or that it’s not pitch black in the morning when you go out to retrieve the paper from the slop in the driveway?  Yes, it’s still wet and raw and soggy and frigid and there’s a long slog of crummy weather ahead, but you can feel the shift beginning to gather force.  And you long for this shift, you hunger for it, for the new life that is stirring, readying to burst forth.

How can you ready yourself to receive the new life that could burst forth in you?  Well, taking a clue from the planets of the revolutionary imperative, you can do something really game-changing (Uranus) that will help eliminate (Pluto) old crap you no longer need.  Yeah, I know you’ve heard this line before and I can even feel myself stiffen up inside against the expected pain of deciding what to toss and what to keep.

But I propose that the truly revolutionary, Uranian, concept you can embody involves not a struggle to become conscious of all that might be tossed or kept and agonized over in the process, but in becoming conscious of the utterly magical, completely natural, Plutonic processes that already exist within you, constantly deciding what to toss and keep, purifying you, preserving your life by getting rid of the outworn, the toxic, the unneeded.  And the only times—the only times!—they fail to do so is when you’ve done something to wreck their function, whether it’s taking in too many toxins or trying to interfere with their function because of social embarrassment.

How about…your lungs for example?  “Every breath you take”—well, actually, every breath you let out—cleanses you.  And it’s not just your lungs doing this job!  Oh no—how about your…sinuses?  Magical holes within your head (ruled by Aries, the sign currently inhabited by Uranus) that are in constant clean-up mode.  Magical nose hairs, catching all kinds of crud to keep it out of your lungs.  We blow our noses in the morning and think, “Yuck! Disgusting!” but the maligned body parts that produced our snot are utterly magical.

Or how about…your skin?  What a beautiful, Capricornian thing, skin!  It protects and defends you and flushes toxins out through its pores.  The next time you cringe at the sight of a pimple or worry about how your sweat smells, or feel painfully embarrassed by being soaked in sweat, realize the magic taking place as it strives to purify you from within.  When the first summer heat comes on, I’m often miserable for the first two days.  Then, suddenly, it’s as if my body “remembers” how to clear itself via sweating.  And suddenly I feel all better, covered in stinky dew but so much less clotted and congested.

Okay, the liver and the kidneys are naturals as well, no?  Many medical traditions set great store by keeping these organs in top form.  But did you ever stop to consider the miracle of the bladder?  The kidneys are often considered the more “valuable” part of the system, but let’s not forget the part that labors day-in-and-day-out against the force of gravity.  Which leads us, finally, to the organ most frequently associated with Plutonic elimination, the colon.  Well no: not finally.  Medical traditions also recognize the value of a healthy colon but think about the endpoint of the colon, the body part we use as a slang term for a really malignant idiot, a total jerk.  We don’t refer to such a person as a sinus, a nose hair, a kidney, a bladder, a sweat gland.  We call such a person an asshole.

Titania with Nick Bottom (whose head is now a donkey)

Here, then, is your revolutionary assignment to ready yourself for the new season: stop using the word “asshole” as an insult.  To be more imaginatively insulting, try emulating, maybe, Hamlet who referred to his uncle, Claudius, as “a mildewed ear”.  (Actually, Shakespeare has a wonderful catalogue of such body-part insults that could be redeployed to good effect; there’s even a website to help you create your own.)

Rodin's Thinker on the throne

Instead, bless your asshole (*BYA).  Thank your asshole with heartfelt sincerity every time you sit down on the porcelain throne of the god (never realized you had divine thrones and altars to Pluto, the Lord of Elimination, so critical to your domiciles, did you?). Especially thank your asshole when you know you’ve ingested that which made its work that much harder.  Because that which your asshole relieves you of is also Plutonically magical and, after transformation, can be used to help the new life of the new season—and your life—thrive.

Therefore, be not deaf, thou gleeking, tickle-brained, jolthead! BYA!!

[created with the help of http://petelevin.com/shakespeare.htm]

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